you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
