Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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