Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Watching her eat just hurts me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
