I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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