When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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