I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
