I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
