names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just high enough for therapy.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
