So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
