yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
