i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
