Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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