took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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