Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
