hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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