just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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