Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
