Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
