I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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