I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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