Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
