I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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