the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize