I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
