How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
