No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just high enough for therapy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
