so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
