Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
