Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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