So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
