We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
