A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
