it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
