I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this boner is exhausting
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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