things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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