I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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