i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
