You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
