Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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