I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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