We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
