After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
