Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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