even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
