When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I love you. Go after that dick
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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