My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
