Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize