I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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