Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
