just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You ate ashes out of my bong
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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