can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
