P.S. I can't hear my feet
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
