two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
be right there i have to get my cape
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
