theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
