and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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