plz talk dirty to me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
