he thought i was a dude.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
