my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
