Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
