i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
