At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
