It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sext me about skeletons
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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