I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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