Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
