it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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